Psychic Schoolkids - Double Dating

It is an age-old ritual among people that when the process of pairing off begins...a double date must occur. It had happened with Chloe, Nathan, Kara and Chris - which was an awkward enough experience for me when I wasn't involved. Going on a double date is a different experience in itself.

Especially when it means you have to spend time with someone like Sarah. Chloe didn't like her, I wanted to be able to exchange my power for Emily's so I could set her on fire, and for some inexplicable reason Dane actually liked her. I didn't even pretend to understand his reasoning for that, so I stood by my theory that the only reason that he was dating her was because not a single other girl had asked him out in his 12 years of schooling.

"I really think our school needs to teach more religious acceptance." Sarah was telling us over dinner, standing on her soapbox for what felt like the fourth time of the evening.

"I agree." Dane agreed. Again.

"I mean I know we're a religious school, but teaching religious education from a solely Chrisitian viewpoint closes off so many avenues of religious discussion."

Chloe and I sat there silently, glad that our food gave us a chance to fill our mouths rather than have to reply. We had already tried arguing, discussing, and even agreeing, only to be told we were wrong every time. I was almost ready to become a born-again Christian and go to church with Lisa every Sunday just because that would put me as against Sarah as was humanly possible.

As the discussion of religion made its way back to with burnings and persecution, I took my leave and fled to the toilets. I took as long as I could, and then walked out to head back to the table, only to find Chloe.

"Can we kill her?" she said. The scary thing was she was almost serious. "Like I know I said we should do this to be supportive because Dane has a girl who finds him attractive and stuff. But dude...any boy who ends up with her needs his head examined."

"Is now the part of the conversation where I say that I told you so? Or do I have to wait a bit longer for that."

"Okay gloating will not help. It will make me feel bad, you'll then have to feel my badness and then we'll both be even more miserable. We need an escape plan."

"Ooh...we can do that thing...where we get someone to call us and pretend they're having an emergency and we have to leave."

"I think you need to organise that beforehand. Plus, I don't think that has ever worked, even on bad tv shows."

"We could just run away? Or see a movie...they're quiet and so we won't have to listen to her talking for a good hour or so."

"I think she would talk through the movie." Chloe looked nervously back to our table, where Sarah was looking at us while she talked...and Dane was watching her and nodding. It was a scary sight. I felt like Sarah was going to shoot laser beams at us. "Okay. We are two very clever, highly psychic individuals here. We can figure out how to bluff our way out of a double date that can only end in mass murder."

"I agree, but I think in the mean time we need to like...go back over. Before Sarah sends her winged monkeys after us or something."

We walked back over to the table, Chloe whistling the Wicked Witch of the West tune from Wizard of Oz until we were within earshot of Sarah...

About ten minutes later, we left the restraunt, with the intention of fleeing to a movie, where Chloe and I could at least try to block out the whinging of Sarah by distracting ourselves with cinema. As we walked from one place to another, we spotted Emily walking along in the other direction. Chloe and I quickly bounded over to her, leaving a confused couple behind us.

"Emily!" Chloe said excitedly.

"Save us!" I said in the same tone of voice.

"..huh?" came Emily's confused reply.

"Long story short, we are on a double date with Dane and Sarah..." I started.
"...who we both now want to murder in a slow painful fashion..." Chloe added
"...and we need to escape in a way that is at least vaguely subtle..."
"...so if you could help us we would love you forever..."
"...and Chloe will buy you a pony.."
"...I will?" Chloe looked at me.
"Well it's an added incentive...and I certainly can't afford a pony." I shrugged.
"Good point...so can you help Emily?"

Emily was still confused. Possibly because Chloe and I had said quite a lot very quickly, and without making much sense.

"We'll take that as a yes...I'll be back." Chloe said, and bounded off.

"Did someone give you guys red cordial again?" Emily asked me. "Cuz I've heard stories about what that can do to you..."

"No. Chloe had rasberry soft drink but I think it's less of a sugar high and more of a 'oh-god-we-might-get-to-escape-Sarah' high."

"Ahh. Important difference. What's so bad about her anyway? She seems to like Dane, and she is nice..." Emily asked.

"She is nice. In the way that she is never wrong about anything. And I still don't understand why she even wants Dane....he is so out of her league."

"Or you're just less happy you and Chloe are no longer the flavour of the month couple?" Emily tried a level of insight that was quite good for someone without psychic powers.

"...maybe." I said quietly.

"Okay. We are able to escape this date." Chloe squealed with joy as she came back. "Sarah is going away. We are hanging with Emily if she doesn't mind...okay good we are hanging with Emily. I think somewhere nice and quiet like a park is a good idea."